Bye bye. =/

~Closed~

...for now.
nth to say.

~Kaze

it used to be better..
when you didn't know i have a blog?

Last post.

this family doesn't feel like one.
at least not now.

i really hate seeing them shouting at each other.
even worst, throwing things around,

getting hit on the outside is nothing.
the pain witnessing all these is the vital one.

i wished i was borned in a wealthy family, well who wouldn't.
i wished i didn't have to worry so much about my future.

why do i have to end the day with such bad mood.
my eyes are already swollen.
i shouldn't cry anymore.
i wish there's something to make me cheer up again...

~Kaze

thats why i don't fucking care about everything.

i'm sick of it.

zhu.

zhu, i know sometimes it's hard to explain things. sorry for the words i used. i guess it made you think about it for the whole day. i know you'll tell me sooner or later. even if you don't, it's okay. but next time if you need someone to talk to, i'll still be there. always. i'm glad you decided to tell me your new blog address yourself. really glad. anyway, no matter what happens in the future, whether you want to let me know or not, it's alright. Just stay happy, for me. the least you can do. i'll be just as happy. =)

~pighead.

and buy me a better eye solution,
i'm still rubbing my eye as i type... =(

I just want to be with you.

it's hard to be fine when you're not.
but to pretend that you're, it's twice as hard.

i just want to be with you.
im just a little bit confused.
do you like me?
do you miss me?
do you want to be with me?

i would've been gone by now if i've never tried.
but please be nice and grab on tight.
for this is the last time i'll believe we'll ever make it.

you don't have to hide your emotions from me.
if you love me just show it to me.
hug me if you miss me.
kiss me if you like me.
hold me tight and never let go if you want me so badly.

I'll never laugh at you,
that's for sure.
I'll do the same if i could,
just to be with you.

i can't imagine living without you.
but can you?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
vivo and sentosa brings back lots of memories...

i wish i could hold your hand again.

~Kaze
i'm down.

do you still like me?

It's all over but the crying.

there're many things i wonder...
many things in my mind now.
should i say sad or happy?
i shouldn't have came in through that door.
i shouldn't have came in at all.
i hope it's not too late to walk out that door now.
it's cold outside.
but i know i'll feel the warmth just by looking back.

until the end,
there was still lies.
that cant be told.

i was just staying in the plato's cave all along.
no one to blame for the things i see.
anyway...was just an option.
i wished that day could've came sooner to fulfill my wish.

~Kaze

it's all about the right timing.....

can't sleep.

i can't go to sleep.
forget it.
im going out.

~Kaze

what is it that's keeping me awake?

Be okay, zhu tou.

i don't know what's going on.
but it's making me worry.
i know it's better for you to have some peace.
i just hope you're alright.
treat me like ur zhu tou,
i'm still willing to lend a listening ear.

~Kaze

don't tell me there's nothing.
but it's ok if you don't want to talk about it.
just be alright, k?

bleed like me?

im only happy when it rains!
i know you can't appreciate it!

what is right and what is wrong.
what seems right may seems wrong in another's perspective.
it is simply a work of mind games.
why are people falling into the traps of the game of life?

just watched "invasion".
"my pig is not my pig."

played like a christmas toy...
getting all fuck'd up.

why are you holding tight to that ammunition of yours?
what is it that you're holding on?

what do you want?
it's a very straightforward question.
but how many people can actually answer that so straightforward.
what do you really want?

just calm down everyone...
i wish i could make you feel better.
i wish everything could be just fine.
i wish i could say good night.
but nevermind.

good night.
sleep early.

smile please. don't frown.

~Kaze

can you bleed like me?

sorry. pls rest well. =(

"is it wrong to be selfish occasionally, to make yourself feel happy once in a while?"
you know, to be able to see you everyday is my everyday wish.
but a wish is a wish, it may never come true all the time.
thats why it's called a wish.
and i cherish it everytime it came true.
i just wanna spend more time with you while i can.

anyway, just wanna say thanks.
for staying to help me with my work.
feel kinda guilty looking at the countless times you fell asleep.
didn't know you didn't slept yesterday.
next time try not to ask you for help le.
sigh.
Sorry...
rest well
i wanna see a zhu tou full of energy...=)

~Kaze

selfish me.

I don't know!

things are always kept hidden away. perhaps i felt better saying it out. but then i start to feel the guilt i used to felt again. it's really hard to convey a message without knowing how the person will feel later on. im getting really tired. too tired to try anything. the more i talk about it, the more i realised how impossible it is to be like before. and sometimes, perhaps love is not really about two people, but everything about the two people, compatabilities plays a big part too. and when you think about it, you feel so much inferior. although they say it's the opposites that attracts. i know if things goes on the same way it does now, nothing will be fulfilled. nothing will change. it's always just me hearing those unfriendly phrase. no one's ever happy to hear those things. no one will be. no one will like to see the back of someone you like to disappear so fast without any warnings. no one likes silence. everyone wants to be cared by someone. if only it's always the case... the most difficult thing is to live your life with both happy and unhappy stuff going on at the same time. it's hard to juggle. and you feel so much worst than just sadness. coz you don't know what you're feeling. you became stuck in-between a real and surreal world. Perhaps this story should just be ended. There's always so much i want to say. but im not good with words, whatever language it may be. i try to put these things deep down and smile. at least i know my smile can make others happier. aarrrhhhh..! sigh... if you ask me what's going on, i wouldn't know either. i'm just feeling so "filled"? i just know i ain't happy.

~Kaze

I've stopped crying,
why does my eye hurts so much then?

bored. '-_-'

hmmm... it's 3.02pm. i havent done a thing. been looking at some singapore related webby. but still no idea. how should my logo look like? i really don't know how. sigh. im so bored at home, locked in my room. just wished i can hav a pet or something. at least i will have someone to talk to and wouldn't be so bored. yea yea i know, talking to a pet? hmm well better than no one la. maybe thats why i like to do work together with other people. im on low batt. zzz. please charge me bah. =/ xie xie. =

~Kaze

( '@' )? what are you doing..?

when we were just friends...

hai......was deleting some messages. and saw a message which i kept for a few months. it was a message i sent out. reminded me of many things. makes me wonder how things become the way it is now. small little details that tell so much. the way we talk. the way we no longer talk about almost anything. the way we used to had not much to hide. the way we talk on the phone. the way two good friend were. the way we kinda wanted to see each other. hmmm...i guess i kinda miss the times when we were really good friends.

as for school, let's not talk about it today. =)

~Kaze

your little fingers.

am i not creative?

AAAAAAAArrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dunno what photos to take. i havent come up with a logo. i need to redo my p.o.p and i have to make 2 opposite creative journal by tuesday. im soooo dead. =.="'

rain please don't stop. i wanna take photo! i need a model. zzzzzz...

and...
im hungry again.
someone buy me food lei,
im waiting =P



~Kaze

our story ended.

blank page.

"i wished there's a cook book for life. and the recipe will tell us what to do next."

what do you call a blank page which could never be filled?
you simply call it "a blank page".
you can't describe everything.

~Kaze

i feel like...
a blank page.

filling up.

how i wish i can play this melody on my blog now. it's beautifully sad.
im so tired.
i don't know what's happened since then,
there's something different.
i've never liked the way you walk away.
but it seems like im seeing this repetitive thing everyday now.
well those days were over. i know.
and it's time to let go.

does anyone knows why i like boat quay so much? the clearest thing i could remember was me, sitting near the river thinking about her two days before the 21st. i remember it was a monday. i remember i was drinking. i remember how those messages got me so happy. i remember kncoking onto a glass door on that day. and the scar never disappear on my left hand. and it was since that day, she knew i like going there. the reason was never clear to me either. but now i guess the reason was her.

~Kaze

you're filling up my mind.

make my day.

a bad bad day i'm having.
first the lecturer say my work's terrible.
which practically "made my day".
guess i'm taking it to emotionally?
everyone seems fine and happy having to redo.
well i just hate to do 3D.
especially dealing with things that tear so easily.
and then now the whole piece just tore apart as i'm going home.
and the hot weather is making it worst.
And just when i thought i could go catch a movie and relax abit,
well they were all tired i guess.
i am too.
i just don't wanna waste my time like this.
life is short.
i want to see more things.

well somehow,
you never fail to make my worries go away.
everytime i look at you.
glad you're there today.
if only you were always there.

i guess im gonna take a quick shower and go walk around myself.
boat quay maybe. =P it calms me down.
and then, hope to cheer up abit. heh heh.

~Kaze

perhaps we're just parallel lines.

but i'll turn 0.1mm towards you,

and we'll meet someday.

For no one.

Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all the words of kindness linger on

When she no longer needs you

She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn't feel she has to hurry

She no longer needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You want her, you need her
And yet you don't believe her when she said her
love is dead

You think she needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You stay home, she goes out
She says that long ago she knew someone but now
he's gone

She doesn't need him

Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be time when all the things she said
will fil your head

you won't forget her

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

more than enough said.

~Kaze

Why don't you believe?

She no longer needs you.

i should have known.

i should have known.
seems like it's time to wake up. stop dreaming.
i guess it's true you do have alot of guardian angel around you.
something we wanted so much but never get it.
give me just one and i would've cherish it.
waiting just for a chance to see you.
do you call that 'silly' or 'crazy'?
i guess i'm just silly.

~Kaze

"but i was so crazy about you, i didn't mind."

2 years is short.

first i went out with a low batt phone, then i can't seem to settle down doing my work. havent really do anything this weekend. and while walking home, it just started to rain all of a sudden. well im fine with the rain, but my laptop... anyway, got all wet. and i mean wet.

am i too stress or wad? im not even doing anything.

i seriously don't want to go to school.
i don't look forward to tomorrow's photography presentation coz i seriously don't quite like those photos i took. and still, stupid lecturer said each week will be more strict. fuck it la.

just fuck it. everything also nv do. think i'll just skip tuesday's lessons.

There's nothing more i'm looking forward to...

"2 years is short.
will i be able to see you then..?"

"don't ask me why i like you.
i just do."

~Kaze

im not good at reading minds.

please come back.

it was somewhat like this or whatsoever. but not quite.
it was not the same. will it ever be back?

"you never know when is your last. so you should just cherish every moment like it is."

yawning...like a baby (-. -)..zzZ
heh heh.

~Kaze

wake me up when september ends.

imagine.

Do we walk the same road down?
are we heading the same direction?
will we end up in the same place?
are we feeling the same way we used to feel..?

recently, i often imagine different way of dying.
i imagine being knocked down by a bus,
i imagine being runover by a train,
i imagine falling off a building,
i imagine waking up one day, and realised that,
I'm dead.

~Kaze

let it be our happiest day.