The Time Machine...

Sometimes I wished my life's a movie...at least I can look back at things I've done, how I've behaved...and most importantly, good memories.

Everyone wants a time machine. Some hoped to return to the past, some hoped to proceed faster into the future. What would you want? Returning to the past...enjoying the sweet memories you once had might be good, but what's so exciting about it if you already know what's gonna happen next? You want to change your past perhaps, but being too indulged in your past, will you really make a different decision, do a different thing, think differently?

Perhaps that's why people say we learn from our mistakes, and not hoping to return to change it. Coz perhaps you can't. There's a time machine in everyone. You think about your past, the sweet memories that wouldn't be forgotten, but you can't change it. It's the same. But this time machine doesn't allow you to stay there in your past. You have to come back. And afterwhich, you should then think of how things are now and try to face it.

Perhaps I'm saying all these but I don't actually understand it yet. I want to be like how I used to be, the Zhu tou you liked. But it's not easy to be back now that things have changed so much. You don't even ask me out now, and you don't look forward to seeing me. You used to ask if I'm going for group work, or lesson, You used to ask me what am I doing. You used to say you're thinking of me, though I don't really know if it was a joke, I took it seriously. Well, I guess all these things you used to do, won't happen again. So how am I suppose to be like before? Perhaps I can still smile, but my smile wouldn't be the same anymore, yes they're genuine, but they're no longer smiles that will retains, remains in my heart. I was happy then, becoz of you. But now things are different. You avoid me, you don't talk much to me. SO How glad could I get? I wonder......

Just the way you looked at me tells alot. Though I felt as though we're back to how we were yesterday night......but now, I'm even afraid to hold your hand, afraid that it will remind you of certain things, that's why I did not dare to make any move even though you were so close to me. It was a regret of coz, but I know I must respect you and shouldn't do things that will make you feel vexed again...Perhaps the next time you stay close to me, I will do what my heart tells me to.

"I get no kick from champagne, mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all. So tell me why should it be true, that I get a kick out of you?"

Thanks.
~Kaze