Today, didn't watch any movie. The whole day didn't feel that bored. I basically start holding pencil again, and started drawing. Haven't complete the drawing though. I think I'm taking too long. But it's like I never get it right. I really want this drawing to look as perfect as possible. I decided to do black and white coz I think colour will spoil the picture. Anyway, can't concentrate much, coz my mum is back home and she kept interrupting. And the fukin malays downstairs having marriage ceremony or wad till afternoon, and it's damn noisy. And my dad took the fan away, And I have no fan, so I'm like sweating while drawing. =.="' Actually I can bring out my fan in my room, but again, lazy.
All I can say is the more I draw, the more frustrated I become. Not only because of the hot weather, but also other reasons. And I ended up listening to maksim again, which is like my way of vending some anger. Blasting maksim. Anyway, I really don't know if I should be doing this drawing.
You know, the whole day though, I'm concentrating on drawing, but somehow my heart tells me it wants to go out and breathe some fresh air. I'm really utterly intensely stressed right now I guess. I really want to go out. I'm sensing another explosion in-coming. =/ Maybe I will go to sentosa on my own tomorrow. Hah. Or anywhere that can allow me to relax in peace. Boat quay maybe, but in the night most likely.
Every night, it ended with me realising how lonely I am, actually. I'm not those mix-around type and I guess I lose out coz of that. Even if I wanna mix-around, it's like I have little things to share with people, things that others will like.
My only wish at this very moment. I wish for one day when I know someone misses me. Anyone will do.
~Kaze
Whisper to me, holding me tight...
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