I'm tired, I'm exhausted. But I just can't ask myself to say goodbye this way. Though now I've did something that made me feel better. It seems like a sort of goodbye. Have finally reached the ending. Kinda dissappointing not being able to give it personally.
I was lying on my bed thinking. I wonder if I was thought of. I wonder if everything's gonna be alright. I've so much to say, so much to hope for, yet I know the very little amount I could do. The very bit just to tell her to take care, when I'm not there now... I don't know how far can I go, but I know this is the least I could do.
Time passes so slow while on the bed, well, at least the memories flashback were fast. So fast I'm not sure if I can catch up. It's an unexplanable feelings I'm having right now. So much I'd want to say or do, yet there's this forcefield that's stopping me from doing. It's this feeling that had made me feel so uncomfortable for so long and finally I couldn't take it anymore. And, I did it again... I knew this was coming, just couldn't stop myself. I know I have to let it out. I know what she'll say if she knew, but I just couldn't help.
I hope this is the last time. I hope I'll be able to smile for the days to come.
And so. It's yet another wednesday for such a memorable day. It started on a wednesday. I held your hands tight. I wished to hold you tight once more. Everytime I think of you. I just couldn't forget you, but if it's a goodbye you wish for, at least this way is the best.
Don't know what more to say...
All the best to you. Happy birthday.
Now I feel physically and mentally tired, working my ass off for the past few days.
And I'm dying of hunger I think. Falling sick soon I guess.
"She brought you something special when she came here, didn't she? That's what you hold on to. That's how you keep her alive."
~Kaze
Why can't we be ourselves like how we did yesterday?
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