ihatemyself:'(

So many things to do...but I'm just slacking away here...I never feel awake...I want to sleep. Sigh...tmrw have to show external liao...but why am still sitting down here crying? Fuck, I hate myself...fukin emo kid...Why can't i have a stronger heart to restand all these...I love the songs on my blog...and love the songs and things I've wrote. But the more I look at them, the more I end up crying, even if it's just one drop of tears. Fuck myself...I hate myself for being such an emokid, such a crybaby...I hate myself! listening to "fei ni mo shu" by tank...I get even more fukkin emo...especially the 1st part. I went back to my room and lie flat on my bed, But 1st thing I see is her plaster hand...displaying right on top of my shelf...I look at it and I get fukkin emo again. I open my wallet to see how much money I've left...and I see the sentosa skytrain entry card and the movie tickets...it's not that I keep it purposely, just that I don't usually throw all these things away until some time and this one, i think I won't...and Yeah, I get fukkin emo again...I go to my friend's blog which the html starts with "x" and i see the link to the slide thing she made...and i get fukkin emo again...Yesterday night I took bus and went pass vivo......look at the railings near the busstop, it reminds me of that day when i sat there waiting for my dad to come pick me up, and she msg me to tell me she enjoyed the day with me...I was happy becoz I finally told her. And on the bus, I get fukkin emo again...I'm going to art friend ltr, and everytime I walk there I'll see "zara" and I'm fukkin reminded of how I used to wait outside fitting room for her...it's not that store alright but I'm just reminded of it...and I get stupidly emo again...even when I do my work, I see that pencil case...and fuk the emo part...If I go to bras basah art friend, I'll go pass bugis junction and see that stupid restaurant we used to had our dinner once there...and I get fukkin emo...I take a cab and I'm fukkin reminded of that day when we held hands in the cab...I was so unwilling to let go...The Hell I am! And I fukkin get emo again...and I'm getting so fukkin emo now while listening to songs and typing this...

I HATE MYSELF! I wish to put a bullet right into my mind to stop all these once and for all! Fuk! I'm going out...take a bus and get emo by myself!

Thanks.
~Kaze